The Hidden Side of “Perfect” Dubai: Bullying Among Expat Children
Why do children face bullying even in a prosperous city like Dubai? Behind the façade of luxury and security lies a shadowy side of school life. Every fifth student in the UAE feels unsafe at school. What drives children to bully their peers? What are the consequences for victims and aggressors? Together with clinical psychologist Evgeniya Bogdanova, we examine the “anatomy” of school bullying.
In 2019, Cartoon Network MENA conducted a survey of 700 parents of children aged 6 to 12 in the UAE to assess the impact of bullying. The results revealed that more than 85% of schoolchildren had experienced bullying. Additionally, only about half of the parents were aware of it (source: Gulf News). Why does this happen? Let’s dive in and explore.
According to research, 16% of students in grades 6–9 in the UAE feel unsafe at school.
What Is Bullying?
Imagine living under the constant shadow of mockery and threats—that’s bullying. It turns every school day or playground visit into a nightmare.
Unlike a conflict, bullying is repetitive and involves a power imbalance, where the bully is physically or socially stronger than the victim. It often lacks a clear cause. In a conflict, both sides typically show aggression and fight over something tangible. In bullying, one side (or several) displays aggression simply for the sake of tormenting the other. As the bully might say to their victim: “I just don’t like you. I want you gone.”
Types of Bullying
Bullying takes many forms and can manifest in different ways:
- Physical: Pushing, hitting, spitting, damaging property, or any actions involving physical contact with the victim or their belongings.
- Verbal: Hurtful nicknames, insults, taunts, or threats directed at the child or their loved ones.
- Social: Exclusion from groups (including boycotts) and spreading rumors.
- Cyberbullying: Harassment online through insults, threats, memes, ridicule in group chats, or hacking personal accounts.
Thus, bullying can be both physical and psychological, with the latter often accompanying the former.
Signs of Bullying — Obvious and Subtle
Bruises, damaged or missing belongings—these are clear signs of bullying that are hard to overlook. However, there are also more subtle indicators: a decline in academic performance, reluctance to go to school, sleep issues (nightmares, trouble falling asleep, early waking), changes in appetite, nervousness, irritability, or withdrawal. Any significant behavioral changes in a child can be a warning sign. It’s crucial to pay attention to these and have an open and honest conversation with your child.
Causes of Bullying and Psychological Profiles of Participants
Misha grew up in a household where his parents often fought. He witnessed them shouting at each other and learned to resolve conflicts through aggression. At school, he began to bully weaker kids to feel powerful and important. In such families, behavioral boundaries are often unclear, parenting is authoritarian, personal boundaries are blurred, and parents themselves may act aggressively toward the child. Bullying can become a way for the bully to assert themselves, seek attention, or release aggression to ease their own anxiety and pain.
Note: This analysis excludes cases where aggression is linked to pathological personality changes caused by disorders or illnesses. Here, we’re discussing psychologically healthy but socially and educationally neglected children.
The Profile of the Victim
Victims of bullying are often children who:
- Stand out from the majority (appearance, interests, academic performance).
- Have low self-esteem or are temporarily insecure (e.g., due to a recent move).
- Are socially isolated, either due to personality traits or because they have not yet adapted to their environment.
- Don’t know how to stand up for themselves or lack the confidence to do so.
- Are afraid or ashamed to seek help from parents.
Children from other countries, who inherently differ from the local population, are particularly at risk.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 42% of boys and 37% of girls globally experience bullying.
Consequences of Bullying
Bullying negatively affects everyone involved. Witnesses can suffer from “bystander trauma,” experiencing shame, fear, or helplessness. Victims frequently develop anxiety and depressive disorders, eating disorders, or physical health issues such as headaches, gastrointestinal problems, cardiovascular conditions, or frequent colds. Academic performance may decline, and they may struggle with suicidal thoughts, self-harm (e.g., biting nails, picking at cuticles, pulling hair), or an increased risk of developing addictions (smoking, alcohol, drugs).
Research shows that bullying can cause changes in specific parts of the brain, including the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus.
For victims, every day becomes a torment. Persistent fear, anxiety, and loneliness turn their lives into a battle for survival. Imagine knowing that every day at school will bring humiliation and insults. This stress impacts everything: their education, health, and relationships with loved ones. It’s like walking through a minefield, waiting for the next explosion of mockery and abuse. Even after school, they can’t find peace, as nightmares often haunt them at night.
Living under constant stress can result in both psychological and physical disorders, driven by anxiety and a lack of focus. Even after school, individuals often remain socially isolated, intimidated, and insecure, deprived of the support, attention, and opportunity to be heard by their loved ones. This state can erode their basic sense of safety and trust in the world.
Bullies, meanwhile, tend to persist with their destructive behavior, which, due to a sense of impunity, becomes increasingly harmful to both themselves and society. Over time, aggressors may develop antisocial personality disorders or addictive tendencies. They are also more likely to engage in criminal or self-destructive behaviors. As a result, they often struggle to secure stable, well-paying jobs or build meaningful personal and professional relationships.
What can be done to address and report bullying in schools?
To some extent, all participants in bullying can be considered victims, as perpetrators of violence are often themselves subjected to abuse or have experienced it in the past. Typically, this stems from cruelty at home, often from parents, which is why attempts to address the issue with the aggressor’s parents rarely yield the desired results. These parents might either refuse to listen, react aggressively (often denying the issue and defending their child and themselves at all costs), or take their anger out on the child again, worsening the situation.
What Can You Do?
You can contact the KHDA (Knowledge and Human Development Authority) directly by calling +971 4 364 0000 or the toll-free number 800 KHDA (800 5432).
In severe cases (not necessarily related to bullying), you can reach out to the Child Protection Unit under the UAE Ministry of Education. This unit supports students in both public and private schools across the UAE. You can contact them via the Ministry’s official website or through the Hemayati app for smartphones.
Listen and Believe Your Child
It is crucial to listen to your child attentively, believe them, and never place blame on them. You should not stay silent about the problem, ignore it, or expect that “they need to solve their problems to become stronger.” Nor should you assume that “if this is happening to them, it must be their fault or their behavior.”
It is helpful to document instances of bullying to have undeniable evidence. Save screenshots of insulting messages, record conversations (audio or video), and log incidents with details such as time, date, participants, and context.
Bullying Is Not “Just Kids Being Kids”
Fear, loneliness, and humiliation—these are the daily companions of a child who goes to school as if entering a battlefield. This is not living; it’s surviving. Bullying leaves a deep psychological scar that can affect a child for life. Victims often struggle with low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety disorders. Contrary to what some parents believe, bullying does not “toughen kids up” for the challenges of the world—it breaks them.
Do we truly want our children to grow up in such an environment?
Let’s not allow childhood to turn into a nightmare. Every child deserves support and happiness.
Evgeniya Bogdanova
Clinical Psychologist
Founder of the Toxic Parents Project
